The other day we received our first piece of mail addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Roger Borg" and I am sure it will not be our last.
People... I am not changing my name. My mind has been made up about this since I was a little girl. Blame my mom (Hello, Susan Sokoloff), blame my feminist leanings and knowing that women most always get the short end of the stick in many things, or blame my stubborn nature, but it just does feel right to change something that has been part of me for the past 32.5 years. My last name isn't even all that interesting, but at least it is easy to spell unlike my first. And in my defense, I did ask Roger if he would consider hyphenating, but he is as stubborn as I am in this matter, meaning he wouldn't dream of changing his either.
I absolutely respect those women who want to follow tradition. In many respects I am being somewhat traditional in my wedding: veil, long dress, Jewish ceremony, ketubah, etc. and that is how I choose to honor tradition in marriage. But the name thing for me is pretty arbitrary.
Oh no! What about the kids! - They'll be fine, trust me. Little Borgs, every one of them.
Don't you want to feel like a family? - Yes, that's why Roger and I are getting married. Names don't make a marriage, love does.
Isn't it just easier to change your name? - No, it's not, it is a big pain in the arse.
So from here on out we will be the un-hypehnated Hall and Borg family, and that is fine by me ... Roger however might have a quick retort.
5 comments:
are you a borg? no, it would be a lot cooler if you were.
Heh heh. We, on the other hand, just got our first piece of mail addressed to Liz & Mike Corbridge. For some reason, I thought it was much funnier than Mike did...
My point is that it goes both ways. There will always be people out there who assume Gerrie changed her name, or who meet Ger after you two are married and assume Roger's last name is H. On the flip side, I have met a lot of people who are appalled when I say that I *am* considering changing my name. Sigh. Damned if you do...I say it's your name, do what you want to with it!
You will not be the last Hall girl to do this! More power to ya! Looking forward to keeping my lovely HALL last name as well :) Thanks mom!
In this day and age, I have to admit that I am somewhat surprised that this name thing would be an issue either way. I don't see it as a big deal in either case and I am not even sure it has to do with making a statement of sorts - or not. It's a matter of choice and that's fine and that's it.
My wife, Karmit, never changed her name when we got married 20 years ago August 3), but her two passports show two different names and her social security number a different name altogether.
My minor disturbance of everyday life is that when I go to Blockbuster, I never know which name she has used to open the account - and maybe something cute like that should be the biggest problem in married life.
So what I really mean here is that name change - no name change - is no big deal. No shock, no surprise, just a choice. Besides, there is a saying in Swedish, "Kaert barn har maanga namn" - "A dear child has many names". Good luck and Mazal Tov with any and all of them.
L
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